Here are some questions for pondering. I am sure you have many of your own but these are questions that, as a family, should have been taken more seriously some time ago. The questions are no longer part of our equation because we have moved so far away from them now. But the point here is that I am hoping they will help others to take a look at their own life situations and form their own questions and possible answers from a more focused or individualized perspective.*What if mom had not been kept in the dark about her disease from the very beginning? *What if mom and her husband had moved into a limited care facility 10 years ago? *What if there had been proper care at home? *What if her husband had attended support groups to learn how to care for mom? *What if mom had stayed in the care situation we removed her from 3 months ago? *What if I or another sibling had room at home to care for mom?
And lastly on my list: What is next?
We have moved beyond all of the questions except for the What Is Next?. I am grateful that mom is in proper care and is doing better than imagined. She still has dementia, it is after all a brain disease, but she has many happy times throughout every single day. It is the happy times that she has throughout every single day that is the gigantic accomplishment on this dementia journey.
Your questions will undoubtedly be different than mine. Your questions will come from your own life situations. Explore your questions and the possible paths you can take while you still have time to make best choices and take action.
Many times we don’t take action because we are afraid of doing the wrong thing. Fear of incorrect answers to the What If questions can/will stop you from taking action. Fear can be conquered and then you are free to move ahead. When no action is taken and status quo remains the answer, then the downward spiral remains in motion. The difficulty, for us, had been stopping the downward spiral. We continue to recover from that spiral but mom’s improvement continues on a positive path.
Reminder: I am not a professional and I am not qualified to give advice. These are my thoughts and my opinion.