I have to back up just a little bit here because as I continue to reflect on the last 2 plus weeks of my current Seattle visit, my mind drifts to many things that mom has said. A couple of things come forward at this moment. It’s like she wants to talk about her thoughts but she is being careful about the presentation and I believe that she needs to process her thoughts at her speed and at her capability before she throws caution to the wind and forms the questions out loud.
So, if you look at yesterday’s post mom had asked “Why am I here?” Here is the link to that post.
What I am seeing is that mom is verbalizing her thoughts around meaningful statements and questions that she really does want answers to. Here is a sample of what she is communicating and saying and you have to imagine that my mom has dementia and this is not said in a normal conversational context but with great thought behind it. “I don’t remember what I had for breakfast or even if I had breakfast.” This statement came after a short conversation with another resident who had voiced her personal recognition of her own memory loss issues. Another statement; “Some of the things, I know I don’t remember and it makes me wonder what I have missed”.
So, the point here is that mom knows that she is not remembering many things and she is processing that “missing” information with questions revolving around why she is living where she is living. The questions come from her need to figure it out.
These things that she is saying and these things that she is recognizing is what led me to my post yesterday. I believe she is working on putting it all together and and figuring it out for herself that she is having memory problems along with physical problems and that is bringing her the calmness of letting those around her help her…..because now she is actively processing the knowledge that she needs the help and that it is good and OK to be able to accept the help that comes from others……finally.
I believe it is important to answer mom’s questions. However, I am very careful when I answer her questions, but I answer her questions with truth and honesty. It is only fair to allow her to figure this situation out for herself while she still has that ability.